Two Blocks on the West Side

Last week, I went to a chaplain graduation with one of my parishioners (congrats, Cindy!). The program was at Bishop Anderson House, in the Illinois Medical District, so the ceremony was nearby at one of our West Side Episcopal churches, St. Andrew’s, a historically Black church.

St Andrews Threshold

For some, it’s downtown Chicago that fills them with pride and love for the city. For me, it’s little corners of old neighborhoods. I wish I’d taken more pictures of the old rowhouses we saw around St. Andrew’s, near Hoyne and Washington, probably dating back to the late 19th century. The neighborhood is a mixed one – some gentrification, but still a lot of poverty. Still, there are some striking places. One rowhouse, well-kept:

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It’s part of the campus of St. Leonard’s House, a program for adults coming out of the prison system.

Turning around, we saw acres of empty parking lot flanking the immense stadium where the Chicago Blackhawks and Bulls play. It looked like a mountain rising above empty plains, far in the distance. There’s a general feeling of emptiness in the neighborhood, although I bet it’s not like that on game days.

Not sure this quite captures the vast emptiness feeling… but thanks, Google Maps!

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A lot more rowhouses used to be here, before getting razed in the name of Chicago sports – first the Chicago Stadium (1929-1994), then United Center (1992).

A half block to the left of this photo, St. Andrew’s was built in 1949. It’s brick with clear glass windows, built primarily by Black Americans who’d come to the West Side of Chicago during the Great Migration. I didn’t get an outside photo, but here’s one from their Facebook page:

St Andrews Doorstep

Inside, it’s a narrow, cozy space — with wood rafters that I wish I’d thought to include in the picture. All the windows were open to let in the May breeze.

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But it looks kind of crowded so I’m not sure you can really feel the space. So here’s another shot, also from their Facebook page (as was the first photo in this post), of the nave from the other direction, empty:

St Andrews Nave

Simple, cozy, full of light.

They have some beautiful art. Like this Black Madonna, with handmade memorial plaque:

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And a child Jesus, haloed inside an African shield, I think (with Episcopal flag).

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I saw a lonely Roman numeral painted on the wall: a station of the cross (couldn’t find others around the space, but maybe I wasn’t looking right).

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This church and its landscape makes me miss living in the city.

One of the chaplain graduates made fun of me as I took this last photo — “Didn’t you say you grew up in the city?” she yelled across the parking lot, suggesting that I shouldn’t find all this urbanity so novel.

But I saw a story. And I love when houses or landscapes tell stories.

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Sad, broken windows, topped with triangular cornices that long ago someone spent time and money on to etch with flowery designs. A transom window over the boarded-up door, intact. The front steps torn out and rebuilt a while back. There’s a black cat hunting on those steps. And what does that great big red X mean?

The cornices and windows on the house next door are gorgeous and in great condition.

One house is empty. One house is nicely kept. And they’re stuck together, next to a big empty lot.

OK, so it would be tough to live here and I realize I may be terribly patronizing and silly to suggest that these two blocks on the West Side are beautiful, but I just had to tell you about them.

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Me and Cindy after the graduation, before dinner, served to us by some residents of St. Leonard’s and delicious on that mild spring night.

My Conversation with “Jacob”

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Why Congregations Shouldn’t Work So Hard to Keep Their Young People

This is an article I wrote for the Collegeville Institute about “Jacob,” a Jewish kid who composes music on an old Game Boy and plans to stop being “religious” when he goes to college, and impressed me in a conversation we had last week. Maybe he’ll never come back to synagogue as an adult, but he’s a great human being and his congregation hasn’t failed him. I hope the same for the kids in my own church.

Suburban Sunset, Late April

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Spring Bike Ride at Argonne

Growing up I rode bikes around my city neighborhood and the lakefront with my dad and my brother, but sometime in high school I got this (hopefully false!) sense of premonition that I would get some kind of spinal injury from riding a bike. So I stayed away from them for years.

Now, living out in the far suburbs, it’s pretty easy to go for a bike ride and I feel less paranoid. It seems as though developers and mayors realized in the 1980s and onward that people like bike trails and they started incorporating them into community planning. Bolingbrook has a ton of bike trails, although admittedly, they don’t all connect to one another or go anywhere especially interesting. One even is abruptly interrupted by a large creek which apparently no one ever got around to building a bridge over.

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There are also forest preserves everywhere out here. Two weekends in a row, Adam and I have put our bikes on the car and driven to some woods or prairie with a crushed limestone trail winding through it for 5-10+ miles, less than twenty minutes from our house. Here’s the one we went to today:

Argonne National Laboratory

Waterfall Glen is a green necklace around Argonne National Laboratory. Although the Lab is surrounded by barbed wire fence, so you only see these buildings from a distance. But there’s lots of other nice things to look at: the namesake waterfall (although it was built by the Civilian Conservation Corps in the 30s, and not Mother Nature), a model airplane field, prairie, marshes, and woods, flooded quarries, an old cemetery, stone and concrete building remains, and lots of wildflowers. There are hills, twists and turns, and some nice views, so it’s not total Illinois flatland, either.

I wish I could’ve recorded the spring peepers, chirping away along the trail, but I did take some photos from my ride: (Adam likes to go fast while I pedal leisurely and look around, so we split up on bike rides)

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The glorious falls!

(Yes, our Illinois expectations are a bit low concerning waterfalls…)

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Downstream.

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“Lincoln Park Service”? — The Lincoln Park Commission (predecessor of the Chicago Park District) owned some of this land from 1907-? and used it for topsoil and a plant nursery. But I could be wrong.

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Wildflowers…  including Dutchman’s Breeches, lower left.

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This bike was a family birthday present. No shocks, but I love everything else about it. Three gears is great for me. Simple is good.

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Adam with his iPhone – he tracks all kinds of things about the ride. My man loves data.

Where will the next ride be?

Lonely Men

mallard_duck_189875There’s been a mallard around the pond at our park the past few weeks. He’s all alone – he stands on the grass or sits on the water, solo. No other ducks in sight.

I don’t know much about the social habits of ducks but when I see that mallard, I’m reminded of a loneliness I’ve begun to associate with masculinity. I’m not a man, so what do I know? And certainly, not all men are lonely. But masculinity and relationality don’t seem to go together.

Masculinity seems to be in transition right now. It seems to me that traditional masculinity has become hyper-exaggerated (Die Hard, the NFL, Game of Thrones, Mad Men, man caves). There’s a book called The Stronger Women Get The More Men Love Football). But also ridiculed (King of Queens, Judd Apatow movies, Alec Baldwin, and man caves). My dad said to me a couple years ago, “It seems like all the commercials on TV show men as bumbling idiots.” Men can’t ask for directions. Men can’t multitask. Men are hopeless. When I was in college I heard this joke: Why should you get married? Because your vibrator can’t mow the lawn.

Reverse sexism does exist.

Now, men still hold most positions of power in government, business, religion, and more. (Read Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In and you won’t regret it.) But the patriarchal value system that created that reality is slowly shifting. Probably for the better, for women and for men. Are men always more fit to be leaders? Are women always more fit to be caretakers? Are men always this and women that? Shouldn’t we be encouraged to be our fullest selves first, as human beings, rather than “be a man” or aspire to “womanhood”?

Like, why can’t qualified women play professional hockey? Why do we have to have separate bathrooms (especially single user!)? Why is it we would be shocked by a man who wore a skirt to work? (OK, besides Utilikilts. And besides The Pope.) Why does Eddie Izzard look great in make up and sequins? (“Women wear what they want and so do I.”) Why do women have to be so nice to everyone all the time? It’s not that I believe men and women are the same, but that our ideals for manhood and womanhood may be more limiting than honorable.

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But it’s the Boston bombings that got me thinking about this. So many perpetrators of these public acts of violence are men. Lonely men. Men struggling with identity, relationships, and isolation. Sometimes, mental illness. It will take months and years to discern more clearly what may have motivated the Tsarnaev brothers to do what they did. And yet, I notice this theme of isolation. But, other than Jennifer San Marco and Amy Bishop, it’s men who take up arms and hurt strangers. Lonely, isolated men.

I can’t pretend the only reason for a masculine tendency to violence is loneliness. But part of being a Real Man (right?) is being independent, having control over your emotions, mastering a profession, and having power over yourself and your environment. That’s impossible and emotionally damaging. And yet, those are the traits we associate with admirable Manhood. John Wayne,  JFK, George Clooney, Clint Eastwood, Dick Cheney, Quentin Tarantino, and even Barack Obama. Maybe even Batman, Iron Man, and Spiderman? These are traits, also, that are linked to violence. Violence = control, glory, fame, dramatic theater, and power. In Latin cultures, they have a word for it: machismo.

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Powerful, Masked, Violent… and Lonely?

This week, I tried to start reading Iron John, by John Bly, a book that came out of the men’s movement a couple decades ago. I was amazed at my disgust — my sexism. All I did was browse through a few chapters, but his words the vulnerability and emotional needs of men seemed lame and distasteful to me. My gut reaction: “What a dumb book.” In other words, I need to read this book.

Men at church have told me things like: “I prefer to work things out on my own,” when I’ve offered to meet with them or talk sometime. Or they just never answer that email, or let that conversation drop.

A woman-to-male transexual, who began his transition at 30, noticed that as his appearance became masculine, “everyone but my wife stopped touching me.”

Why are loneliness and masculinity so closely tied? (And maybe this isn’t true for gay men, as much.) What is the connection to violence? I’d like to do some more reading and thinking about this. I hope to post again about it.

The Disappeared Houses

IMG_1316On a walk last month, Adam and I noticed a memorial plaque under a tree… for a street address. Curious. (If you want to go find it, it’s along Lily Cache Greenway between Orchard and Plainview.)

When we got home I searched for “109 Arcadia Court” on Google Maps and a little red tag popped up in the middle of some grass and trees. Nothing seemed to be there, but Google recognized the place:

Screen Shot 2013-03-25 at 8.40.49 PMThe real estate agent who helped us find our house, Ruth Blumenstein, has lived in Bolingbrook for decades and if there was something about this address to be known, she would know it, so I emailed her.

109 Arcadia Court – I mean, it does sound like some kind of utopian, mythical place.

And there was a story! But not exactly utopian. Ruth told me that, in the 80s and 90s, flooding along Lily Cache Creek (the dark ribbon in the satellite photo) was so bad that the Village decided to buy those houses, tear them down, and turn the land into a park. You can see a big green swath along the creek there, where there used to be 11 houses, two on Arcadia and nine along Avondale.

The Chicago Tribune published something about it, back in the day.

A street of disappeared houses. A community only 50 years old and already we have a sort of ghost town. And a family who loved that house and bought a memorial for it.

I love the stories I can find, just by taking walks.

Who is Anne Stentiford? Part 2

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I saw Anne Stentiford’s name on this sign in January, wondered about it, and decided to do some detective work. (Sort of like my obsession with manhole covers last fall.)

I found her address online and I wrote to her.  She was very kind and wrote me back. This NO SWIMMING / SKATING sign is the only one she’s designed, and it all happened because of an idea she had in graduate school.

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In the late 1960s, Stentiford was training to be an elementary school teacher and she needed a project for one of her classes. She’d heard one professor lament the lack of a NO SWIMMING sign that even small children could understand, and so she got to work. She asked her classmates to help her ask over 250 students in their classrooms to draw pictures of what they thought a NO SWIMMING sign should look like. Stentiford told me almost all the children used the color RED and they all wrote the word “NO.” They almost all drew a picture of what might happen to them if they swam somewhere they weren’t supposed to. As Stentiford put it in her letter to me, “Tell a child what not to do and he’ll ask ‘WHY?’  Show him what might happen to him and you’ll have a good chance of him responding and retaining the message.”

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Anne copyrighted her design. In the early days, she and her husband produced the first signs themselves, with help from friends with a machine shop. Later, demand grew and because signs like these must also meet certain government specifications, Anne contracted a large sign company to fabricate the signs. Here, in her own words, she remembers:

Making the signs in our friend’s machine shop was “a trip”.  Our friend ordered .080 gauge aluminum and he cut out the shape with radius corners and pre-punched holes on standard centers… On Saturday nights the 4 of us silk screened the image on the signs, or I should say that the 2 men did that while the 2 women stood with paper towels and mineral spirits to wipe off the images that didn’t come out right.  On Sunday nights we went back to stack the signs that were standing all over the shop to dry.  This all happened while I lived in Lakeland, Florida.  Shortly after that my husband got transferred in his job to Baton Rouge, LA.  At that time I quit teaching and contracted with a nationwide sign company to make the signs. 

That company is still making the signs and because I’m almost 80 years old I no longer actively market the signs other than through the website and a mailing that I did last year.  I feel an obligation to continue making the signs available and I do get orders for the signs.  The signs are sent to me from the fabricator and I actually ship them and process the orders myself. 

It’s been a pleasure to correspond with Anne and learn more about her signs. I’m grateful she was willing to share so much with me.

If you’d like to order one of her signs, check out her websites1 no swiming 2

Snowy Day

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Snow angel! Couldn’t resist.

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On “Ashes to Go”


Ashes to Go

Starting early on Ash Wednesday morning, while it was still dark, two church members and I stood in our church driveway and parking lot, wearing white robes and offering ashes to the people driving by. We’re on a relatively busy street, but it was freezing cold and dark and I’m not sure that, before the sun rose, many folks could even see us or what we were doing. But our first pilgrim drove up at 6:10 a.m. She and I read this prayer together, combined from two of the prayers said in the Episcopal Ash Wednesday service:

Almighty and merciful God, you hate nothing you have made, and forgive all who are penitent; create in us new and contrite hearts, so that when we turn to you and confess our sins and acknowledge our need, we may receive your full and perfect forgiveness, through Jesus our Redeemer. Amen.
 

I marked her forehead with ashes saying, “My sister, remember you are dust, and to dust you will return.” I handed her a flyer with the prayers and an explanation about Lent and said, “Go in peace.” Then she drove away.

She was driving to her shift at a local big box store – I know because it turns out one of my parishioners is her coworker. This woman had the first smudged forehead they’d seen that morning and she told Cindy, “I got my ashes from a church on Lily Cache – they were out in the parking lot!”

Cindy said: “Wait, I think that’s MY church!”

Her coworker said, “Please tell them thank you. I can’t go to Mass today but I’m Catholic and I like to get ashes on Ash Wednesday.”

It sounds shallow, I realize, to invite people to “drive thru” and get ashes. Another way church is going retail. Another way church is becoming consumer and convenience driven. Jesus died on the cross and people just lower their window to remember their mortality? Then drive away? Believe me, it took me a few years to get on board here.

I hesitated because I wanted to get my theology straight on this. But it was also because offering “Ashes to Go” meant meeting lots and lots of strangers and offering them something that’s quite intimate and powerful. It was a little scary to think about!

What changed my mind? First, one of my more conservative church members told me she thought we should do it… and she wanted to help make it happen. Her witness pushed me forward.

Second: Jesus’ example. Jesus didn’t sit in synagogues or at home, expectantly waiting for people to come visit him – he was on the road, in the marketplace, out on hills, meeting people out in their lives and places. Are we being faithful Christians, taking His love to those who need it most, by sitting in our churches and waiting for people to join us? Especially when so many people have been burned by their churches; coming back inside could require some emotional bravery, facing down bad memories, and taking the risk of getting hurt again. Many people haven’t grown up in a church at all and might not imagine there’s anything inside for them, or worse, that established Christians wouldn’t welcome them there.

But Jesus called us to be evangelists, to go out into the world, in twos and threes, to minister to the people we meet. Ashes to Go is a form of evangelism that is both socially and theologically appropriate to offer to people out in parking lots and train platforms, sharing God’s love, a call to repentance, and some Christian teaching with “the crowds,” just as Jesus and John the Baptist did. (Admittedly, we left “You brood of vipers” off our prayer card this year.)

Third, getting smudged with ashes isn’t a sacrament. It’s a sign of repentance, it’s an ancient ritual for starting the season of Lent, but it’s not like Baptism or Eucharist. A shared worship that includes ashes is wonderful and powerful, but it’s not essentially tied to the rite.

Baptism, on the other hand, is a lifelong commitment and requires deliberation and preparation. In the Episcopal Church, baptism is always done on a Sunday morning in the midst of a worshipping community. It’s a community event. The Eucharist is also community act, shared between priest and congregation, witnessing to the Body of Christ on the altar and in our midst. I’m sure someone out there has tried it, but offering “drive thru” Communion or Baptism is theologically unthinkable.

However, there are no prerequisites for receiving ashes on Ash Wednesday. You don’t need any classes or meeting with a priest to get ready for it. It’s a form of witness, not a sacrament. It’s a mark of mortality, not of doctrine. It’s a sign of intention to begin a season of prayer and fasting and to choose to draw closer to God, but not necessarily one that requires . And everyone who drove through our parking that morning seemed to know this – and every time we prayed together and marked people with ashes, there was a sense of great reverence. Sometimes tears.

(Then there was the man who stopped to ask what we were doing and when I explained, he pulled away as he said, “I’m sorry, I just don’t have time!”)

Fourth, and finally, Ash Wednesday is a weekday. These days, people work multiple jobs, have kids with multiple schedules, work and go to school simultaneously, and generally are subject to institutions that don’t have much regard for religious observance or people’s family lives. Someone said on my Facebook page, “He gives us SO much, make the time to properly say thank you… People find 60 minutes to catch up on TV.” This is true. Jesus give us so much. But I honestly believe the people who drove through our parking lot that day weren’t trying to cheat him of his due, but were unbelievably grateful to catch a glimpse of him in the midst of all the day was demanding of them. Now, I’m sure there are people who would trade an hour of church for two minutes of drive thru ashes – but are they the ones who are also going to take time to stop and ask strangers to put ashes on their heads? I have a feeling those weren’t the ones who let Stephen, Sheeba, and me pray with them and smudge their faces.

A woman drove up with her teenage daughter in the passenger seat, and said to me in her flat, Chicago accent, “She needs ashes because she can’t go to Mass tonight.” The mom did not receive ashes, because she would get them at church later.

A man on a bike stopped for ashes. A woman and her son stopped and told me they were Baptist, but could they have ashes? A teenage kid walked by on his way to school and asked what the ashes were for. Oh yes, he’s heard about this at his church. He took one of our prayer cards and said would think about it.

One of our own members drove through with her two young sons in the backseat. She has tinted windows, so I didn’t see them when I said the prayer with her and gave her ashes. Five minutes later she was back and told me, “Well, I didn’t realize the boys wanted ashes, but they made me come back!”

Others said to us, “This is so wonderful – thank you so much.” Or “I’m so glad I found you here!” And others said, “What is this? Tell me about the ashes.” A few said, “I really need prayer today.” Some were Roman Catholic, some were not familiar with Lent or Ash Wednesday, and some were our own church members. They were old and young, shabby and well-dressed, White, Latino, and Black.

Sheeba, Stephen, and I also spent a lot of time on the sidewalk, waving at people driving by. Our signage wasn’t great, so I’m sure many folks thought, “Who are those crazy people waving at me?” But many of them waved back. Including lots of school bus drivers and one garbage truck driver who seemed to be thinking very seriously about stopping before he drove on by. Offering ashes was powerful but it was also wonderful to have a reason to wave at people driving to work or school that winter morning – maybe cranky, rushing, or dreading the day ahead. I’m sure they couldn’t hear me alternating between greetings of “Repent! Repent” and “God loves you!” but an astonishing number waved back at us. There’s so little kindness in the world it seems, I was glad we could offer some, even if most people didn’t stop for ashes or prayers.

Most of the people who drove by that morning kept on driving. But about 50 cars stopped, and 74 people received ashes from us that morning. 15 were church members. Many were parents of kids who attend the middle school next door. Most were strangers. None of them have turned up at church since, but that wasn’t the point. The point was to come outside our church walls and witness to Jesus Christ, to admit our sin and mortality, and to proclaim his great love and grace for us and for all. Surely, this is our greatest call as Christian people.

ATVing In The Park

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Looks like someone was doing donuts with their ATV on our local baseball field the other day.

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I always thought this only happened in more rural areas. But I guess someone got desperate. Or intoxicated?

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I often see tracks along highways or major roads, or the patches of ground near exit ramps. But a park?

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Or could it have been a car or truck?  At least they didn’t tear up the turf.

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And someone stole this dog decoy, which was supposed to keep geese off the soccer fields. Sheesh. Lots of criminal mischief around here.

(I just like to type that: criminal mischief.)

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