Gratitude Lessons

A find in my church parking lot last Sunday

Gratitude is dull because we always give thanks for the same things. For instance, going around the circle at Thanksgiving dinner, my various family circles always say: family, friends, health, home, a job, nature…

Every November, people in my Facebook feed list things they are thankful for every day of the month. Again, like clockwork: family, friends, health, home, a job, nature…

This year, I planned a November of “snarky gratitude” Facebook posts. I made a list of ridiculous things, like dairy products, weeds in my backyard, my slowly-failing eyesight, and cursive handwriting.

But two things happened. I was too embarrassed to use most of the things on my initial list, for instance, the fact that I am thankful for Jewish people (which I truly am), and that I have dental insurance and usually sleep through the night, because those things could sound awfully smug to people who cannot be thankful for them.

Second, in spite of myself, I found that my snarky discipline was actually making me feel grateful. Even for things like weeds and cursive.

We’re born knowing how to complain – it’s the first communication a baby makes! Whether at the trauma of being born, or, if not then, when we’re feeling hungry for the first time. Both are pretty tough introductions to the world God has made.

Gratitude, on the other hand, is learned. We have to learn that there is enough. We have to learn that something is wonderful even if it’s not “mine.” We have to learn to see that most people are lovable and interesting, even when they don’t meet all our needs and wants. Perhaps we even have to learn this about ourselves.

My two-year old niece

Being thankful is dull, because the best things in life are things we tend to take for granted. Or are things that everyone seems to have. Family, friends, health, a job, nature…

Still, I seem to constantly come across articles that tell us how gratitude makes everything better. They can even see this in health and body chemistry.

A medieval mystic, Meister Eckhart, wrote, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”

Anne Lamott says that her favorite prayer is “Thank you thank you thank you.”

St. Andrew’s Chapel @ St. James Cathedral, Chicago

Martin Luther, when asked what true worship was, responded: “The tenth leper, turning back.” In Luke, Jesus meets ten lepers on the road. He tells them to go see the priests – and they’re healed on the way. One leper comes running back, throwing himself at Jesus’ feet, to thank him.

It can be dull or cloying to hear other people say “Thank you,” or “I am thankful for my friends and family.” Still, like my failed November experiment, we’re the ones who are changed by the saying of it. We’re the ones who deepen our relationship with Jesus by turning back to look at his face and say, “Thank you,” despite the fact that God does not require it.

We’re the ones who will feel better about life by remembering how great things like weeds, cursive, friends, family, health, home, a job, and nature are.

The view from my mother in-law’s patio in Iowa

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here’s my silly list:

A November List of Gratitude, Sincerity, and Snark

1. Prairie weeds growing in my backyard
2. South Shore
3. Suburban parking abundance
4. Bliss chocolates in the little wrappers
5. The Great Lakes and that I have a sticker of them on my car
6. IKEA
7. Salt
8. Dairy Products
9. Deb Perelman
10. The Old City of Jerusalem
11. Wool
12. That the beagle falls asleep when the sun goes down
13. Gay people
14. Jewish people
15. Black people
16. The sound of Arabic
17. The sound of Mandarin Chinese
18. Mari Kondo
19. that my thumb arthritis appear to have gone away
20. that soon I will have to wear glasses
21. I have a retirement account
22. I have health insurance, dental insurance, and massage insurance
23. No has told us they think we’re selfish not to have kids to my face
24. Someday, I will have a woodstove again
25. I knew how to milk goats once
26. Too many handmade quilts from our grandmothers.
27. I am up-to-date on all my vaccinations.
28. I am continent, so far.
29. I can sleep through the night, mostly
30. I know and enjoy cursive handwriting.