The woman who was doing my hair the other day is a Roman Catholic, but she enjoys going to evangelical churches. “They’re more spiritual,” she said to me. I should have asked her to explain what she meant by that, although she did say she loves the music.
When I told this stylist I was a priest, she responded by telling me how spiritual she and her husband were. (This is pretty common – people don’t think you’re saying what do you for a living but asking for a full report of their religious activity.) She pointed out the cross she wore around her neck and she told me hadn’t been to Confession in a long time.
“Maybe you could hear my Confession!” she said.
“I could, if you wanted,” I said.
We talked about a lot of other things. Then she mentioned Confession again and how she almost always worked or had family commitments during the scheduled times. I suggested she talk to the priest at her church – he could probably arrange a different time.
“No. I want to do it with you,” she said, “You’re very easy to talk to.”
As I left the salon, she asked for my card.
I’m not sure she’ll call me or not. Making Confession is a vulnerable act, whether in the Roman Catholic or Episcopal Church. But whether or not she does, I’m honored she asked. And I’m glad to be available to someone outside my church.
I shared this with some clergy friends on Facebook and many responded with their own stories of pastoral relationships with the people who do their hair: officiating at weddings, visiting sick family, and informal counseling.
I used to actively not tell hair stylists or dental hygienists what I do for a living, because once a stylist spent our half hour together attacking me (a woman who’s an Episcopal priest?) because of how much she hated the Roman Catholic Church and all churches in general. That was a difficult haircut. As I’ve written about in other circumstances, there is some risk in telling people you’re in the religious business. But it was good to have an experience where I made a positive connection.
(Note: both Episcopal and Catholic churches now call Confession “Reconciliation.” Here I will use the original term since that is the term my stylist used, as do many people still.)
I love this. And how perfect are those scissors??
I was honored to officiate at my hair stylist’s husband’s funeral about 6 mos. ago. For 10 years I’ve sat in her chair every six weeks or so, and somewhere along the way I became her pastor. She too has felt alienated from the Catholic church, but still seeks the meaningful ritual acts. I’ve learned a lot from her about how to speak faith in a way that the alienated and discouraged can hear. AND she is a fantastic hair stylist!
Loved reading this story. It brought back memories of my transition from Catholic to Episcopalian. It took 76 years but I couldn’t be happier. The story is long so I won’t go into it. Thank you Jesus for directing my path.